I must say that I am currently writing this on my phone. I am yet again packing the residuals of items that Ive been lugging around for 6 months “In between homes,” in anticipation of relocating to the east coast.
My father simply said
” Baby, sometimes A Man is in love with the thought of you.”
His words floated over my being and nestled into my heart. I knew then that.
I needed to fall in love with myself again!
See, Let me explain… I had a quaint 2 bedroom home with my Ex-Fiancee last winter. A man ( that’s what I’m calling him tonight ) who fathered my youngest tot. Misery wasn’t the word. He was not what I needed. He was what I thought I deserved. My confidence in myself could’ve been likened to a tossed around, mangled can of pibb soda lying crusty in an alley way.
I needed to be shown my beauty and intelligence. My strength and perseverance. Instantly, I was placed in situations for those things to be shown within myself, To Recognize all the things I had been unable to see. Distracted by attempting to “make” others whole was tearing me apart!
I needed to be shown my beauty and intelligence. My strength and perseverance. Instantly, I was placed in situations to be shown myself, To Recognize all the things I had been unable to see. Distracted by attempting to “make” others whole was tearing me apart!
The Creator is responsible for causing me to see the changes I needed to make in my world and 10 Months later I am truly a changed person, who has been blessed me to be reintroduced to a childhood friend, with whom I am in love with and happily engaged (now married) to.
Here’s the thing! Not even as much as a kiss! Our first Kiss will be when we are Husband and Wife! The weight of that is so unnerving, demanding, infectious even. I feel like a little girl. Innocent and curious about what that moment will be like. Yes, we are spiritual. No we are not Christian.
We are simply human beings that know how important “Love” is!
We are private about those intimate details and I have dreams about his kiss es. Which rattle me awake with happiness. Yes, I have watched 19 and counting and know FULL well that I am past being a young virgin. I feel like one again though and sharing true love’s first kiss (And everything that follows) with my husband is everything to me.
Although my life has never been a fairy tale. I feel a little Disney-ish and I want every young 20-something to know that you set your own path, limits, boundaries and love. Value yourself and someone will pay that cost because if you are gonna be any beverage, your a bottle of fresh, natural, pure water!
*Married January 23, 2016*
Will post a photo soon!😉